THREE WISHES

A Woman was warming up for her all ireland beach doubles volleyball match one afternoon when her spiked ball rolled into some bushes.

She went into the bushes to look for it and found a frog stuck in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog and then the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your opponents in this Championship Match will get ten times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the hardest spiker on the Volleyball Tour.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your 2 female opponents in this match the hardest spikers in the world, their hits will come at you with amazing speed."

The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will still be a strong hitter in my own right."

So, KAZAM-she's the most powerful spiker on the Volleyball Tour.

For her second wish, she wanted to have the highest vertical jump on the volleyball tour. The frog said, "That will make your opponents impossible to beat as they will now be able to jump high and hit hard, much more than your abilities. You will lose your match for sure."

"The woman said, "That will be okay because I will still be an amazing player."

So, KAZAM-she has the highest vertical jump of any women on the Volleyball Tour!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like to have a mild heart attack."

Moral - Volleyball women are clever. Don't mess with them

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOP TEN - you just joined a new team, only to realise its purely Recreational: (Things you'd never catch a Santry memeber doing!)

10. Each of your new team-mates walk on the court wearing things like; a) a plain white t-shirt or hockey sweater. b) thin kneepads, polyester shorts, and baseball cap turned backwards. b) knee-pads over their sweat pants. c) equipment from other sports such as elbow pads, batting gloves, and safety goggles. d) black dress socks inside their sneakers!

9. You ask your Captain if they run a 5-1 or a 6-2 and she looks puzzled and replies, "I'm five-six?!?"

8. You ask who does the setting and they tell you they all take turns.

7. They use the word "spike" to excess (as in; "I'm a good spiker," or "Nice spike," or "Spike it.").

6. You ask them if they’ve played in a competitive league before and they reply, “Yes,  most of us played on the same intramural team in high school.”

5. You ask what position they each play and they scratch their heads and say, "We always rotate."

4. You ask if its time to warm up so they all stand in a small circle and volley one ball around.

3. You hand dig a line shot that could have torn your face off and your team-mates all clap and  yell, "Nice dig!"

2. After your first serve your captain says, "Wooo, Kewl, looks like at least one of us is brave enough to serve overhand this season."

1. They can't understand why the referee DOESN’T stop play when someone breaks a nail, but they do look confused when the referee DOES stop the play because THEY touched the net.

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOP TEN #2 - Reasons You are Not Likely to Get Good Sets ;

#10. Your neck is getting stiff from looking up at the players on either side of you.

#9. Half your doubles team is missing.

#8. You vaguely remember a conversation with your setter at last night’s party where you used the phrases “totally stupid”, "no talent", "stone hands", and “who needs you”.

#7. The only real setter in the gym has long ears, wags his tail and barks.

#6. The referee believes any ball contacted above the waist is a lift.

#5. The setter and one of the hitters arrive holding hands, and constantly refer to each other as "honey".

#4. Your new setter tells you she prefers to "dig set" rather than "overhand volley".

#3. The five new members of your team are trying to convince you that each time you rotate, whomever is in the front middle, should do the setting.

#2. Your only setter is having trouble getting in the gym because of her crutches.

#1. The competitor’s first serve knocks down all three of your back court players.